Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996 10:57

I'll always wish I could have loved The Roses back in 1989. But I was in fifth grade then, so it's really out of the question. The first time I heard them was March 1995, when I was 15. I'm very proud of that, having discovered them by myself. Not that any of my friends know what good music means anyway. 

I was listening to the radio, when all of a sudden this *guitar*... I've always been into led Zeppelin, so of course the guitar appealed to me instantly, but in two seconds I could tell that not only was this *not* Led Zeppelin, but something completely different and new. I was in shock during the entire song. John, Reni, Mani and then Ian, "Love Spreads her arms..." His voice would have been enough, but there was the music and the lyrics, over and over, "Let me put you in the picture, let me show you what I mean." For weeks I went around with that in my head.

 Right after the song, the DJ mentioned that it was the latest single by a band who hadn't release anything in six years. And that got me interested too, what an obscure and interesting band... I haven't got enough money to just be able to buy albums on a whim, so it was only two months after that I finally got the album. Now that I think of it, the whole thing was rather strange, The Roses were climbing charts all over the city. 

There's two major radio stations here: CHOM, which is classic rock and modern rock and MIX96 which is a crowd pleaser, the kind that plays Oasis only because and when it's popular. They never played The Roses but CHOM did, a lot. 

Second Coming was number one on their album charts for a month or more, they were on the daily top ten... which is interesting because listeners are the ones that vote for that. I wish I knew where all the fans are, I've only met three so far. Anyway, so even though I couldn't but the album I could listen to Love Spreads all the time. And I did, religiously, not going to bed each night until I'd heard the number one on the top ten. I'd go to sleep with Ian's voice in my head and that guitar lick running endlessly through my mind. 

May '95 I heard Ten Storey Love Song on the radio. That was it; within the week I went out and bought the album. My sister didn't understand at the time, she didn't think they were so special, of course, she also thought Led Zeppelin was boring. And none of my friends cared for music the way I did. I'd only recently gotten on to the Internet, and for some reason I never thought of seeking out Roses related sites. I was all alone in this beauty. 

The first time I heard the album, I thought, "This is a masterpiece. I don't fully understand it, and my ears aren't used to all the gorgeous new sounds, but I must listen to it again and again and get into it." Not in so many words obviously, but those were the thoughts in my head. Around this time I also bought Definitely Maybe (Morning Glory wasn't even out yet!) and when I went away for the summer I made a tape of SC/DM songs. I don't know why I didn't tape the entire albums but I didn't. 

I bought my first few Melody Makers over that summer too. I still had no idea who The Roses were, I didn't know what they looked like (except for the baby pictures), I didn't know what they thought, and I certainly didn't know about their history and legend. The first real clue I got was an interview with Ian in Melody Maker, with a picture of him and John, and then I learned that Reni had left, when Ian was talking about going to see him, see what he was doing. I wondered why no one had made a fuss about Reni leaving, he'd gone just like that? 

When I returned to Canada, the first thing I did was buy The Complete Stone Roses. The only reason I picked that over the others was cos it had more songs, and no one was there to tell me, "Are you crazy? Buy the first album!" The liner notes were, and still are, unbelievable. I started feeling nostalgic for stuff I'd never been through, and I understood perfectly the feeling of wanting to hear this music bursting from every window in the world. And it talked about Resurrection. So I listened to Resurrection and I was sorely disappointed. 

Around this time I explored the Internet a bit more, found Roses sites and finally got interviews and stories and lyrics. They were touring, and they were not coming to Montreal, they never have come to Montreal. In a way this is good because I've nothing to regret. And the lyrics were taking a lot of time to understand, they were so original and mystical. By now their name was on my lips every time someone mentioned music, my friends didn't get it, they were listening to the new Pearl Jam album, or something.

 I can't remember if I read ONLS first, or got The Stone Roses first. I think it's the latter. Now in November of '95, I finally got the first album and Turns Into Stone, and since then I've been buying singles and bootlegs. Now I finally understood what Resurrection meant. I still don't understand why Silvertone would put the weakest version possible of a glorious song on an album that's supposed to be a complete collection. And they shortened all of them, One Love, WTWIWF... A truly complete album would be all the songs ever created in all their longest forms together. It was December, during the Christmas holidays that I read ONLS. 

I thought Burnweed was crazy and an asshole. I was all ready to believe that The Stone Roses were trying to bring about The Second Coming, but him as the Messiah?! I still don't think so. He may have opened us to the possibilities of what The Roses are trying to do, but he's certainly not the end of the line. Anyway, by then The Roses were the be-all and end-all of my life. Everything musical I compared to them, any way possible I put their images into my writing, whether it was stories, poems or just strings of words. 

In March of '96 I reread ONLS, and I was more open minded this time, I could fully believe in what The Roses were trying to do. And then John left. Already I was resigned to having Robbie and Nigel instead of Reni (isn't it cute the way they needed two people to replace one master?), and I knew I'd have to wait a long time before a new album. But if they were going to go on without John AND Reni? It was too much. The only comfort was believing that it was all part of the hoax. Why else would they torture themselves so, if they weren't going to be rewarded at the end by getting back together? 

My second summer full of The Roses, and by now my sister was attuned to their brilliance. And then there was Reading, with Aziz "Saint" Ibrahim. I wished I could have gone, but after I heard about it, I was very glad that I'd been spared. I've never seen The Stone Roses live :-[ but if I'd seen them at Reading, it would not have been The Roses. And when I got back there was lots more to ONLS story that I had to read. And now they've officially broken up. But there's always hope. 

If it wasn't all part of a hoax, well, they're not stupid I don't think; after Reni left they would have just changed their name or disrupted. And especially once John was gone also, I don't think even Ian or Mani could handle playing as The Stone Roses anymore. 

So now they've finally done the right thing, and now we wait. I love this excitement and anticipation. I could say all sorts of things about how I remember The Roses for giving me the greatest music of my lifetime, something to call my own after the 60's and 70's and 80's have given way to the 90's and there are no original bands left; 

I could talk about how my listening to them coincided woth my finding complete happiness in the world; I could talk about what a wonderful feeling it is to be part of a little Roses community on the net and how I've made a great new friend thanks to a common love of The Roses (hi Joel!)... 

But I don't think it's over yet, not by a long shot, so I won't talk as if it's a eulogy. Even if ONLS never turns out to be real (as if!), then at least I'm sure the Seahorses will "go out and smash it!" 

"Blessed are he when men shall revile you, speak all manner of evil against you falsely, for Jah's sake. Rejoice I say, and be exceedingly glad, for so persecute they the prophets, before you and I." - Buju Banton after The Bible.

One Love Spreads Deniz